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Scribbles on life, the universe and everything… Woy Woy, Ettalong, Umina and teh Central Coast that is!
Following up with old friends
December 23, 2008Posted by on
I have been thinking about my friend for a few days. I am not sure why. I have woken up twice in the morning with him on my mind. I think back and realize that it has been some years since we have spoken.
I am not sure how we drifted apart. We have known each other since we were 12 and became friends when we were 13. It was a bumpy friendship. In school and out of school he became more like a brother, close, but we locked heads often. Darrell is my son’s (Jason) Godfather. Darrell’s mother was my Jason’s Godmother.
Darrell’s mother became one of my best friends and babysat my children as they came along. I drifted apart from her life when my children no longer required babysitting and she moved to another town.
Darrell and I drifted apart because we started to lead different lives. And, even after our lives took different turns, we stayed in touch for the longest time. Then days turn into months, months turn into years, you one day realize that you haven’t heard from him since you don’t know when.
He called me when is Mother died. We talked for about 1 hour. We have shared such a past. We went to school together, worked together, supported each other in tough times and played together. We went on a white water canoeing trip that could have been deadly. We were ill-prepared and ill informed. That day and a few others like it gave us many stories to “mull over” whenever we had the chance to catch up.
Exactly one year after calling me about the passing of his Mom, he called to let me know that his Dad had passed away. He was angry and bitter. We did not talk for long. The grief would not allow for a long conversation.
I didn’t call him when my Dad died. I didn’t call him when Jim and I separated. I didn’t call him when I was depressed, I didn’t call him when I met Al, I didn’t call him when I moved to Australia. Our lives have gone their separate ways.
So, why did I go to the trouble the other day of looking his daughter up on facebook, sending her a message asking her how her parents were doing and to send along my “hello’s”. Is it because I am nostalgic during the Christmas season? Or, because I am living on the other side of the world? I don’t know and will never know.
His daughter sent his cell phone number with a message saying to call him. He is going into surgery tomorrow for two spindle cell tumors. One tumor is in his ear and the other is on his frontal lobe.
I called right away. He is sounding very chippy, very positive and is truly happy to hear from me. He is in a great mood. He has been dealing with this for 3 months and is happy that the surgery is tomorrow. He is ready. Ready for whatever tomorrow brings. If he dies, he says he has no regrets. If he lives, he will be happy to be rid of the pain. His headaches have been debilitating. He has lost hearing in one ear.
We talk about the past, about our children, about our families, about our antics when we were young. We talk about everything. It is so great to hear his voice.
We end the conversation on a positive note. He is going to bring his wife to Australia for a honeymoon. They have been married for 23 years and he has always told her he would give her a honeymoon. This setback has woke him up. He feels it is time for the honeymoon before one day time runs out.
I can’t wait to see them. It will be a wonderful visit, to be able to sit and catch up on what we have been doing in the years that have gone by. It will be great to share our thoughts and hopes for the future. It will be great to live…in the now and share the now. We all want and hope for a future, but what we really have is now, just now.